


Max, the last day of 1998 and the first day of 1999

by readyfreddie



Series: Max and Ace (working title) [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readyfreddie/pseuds/readyfreddie
Summary: Max quietly freaks out.





	Max, the last day of 1998 and the first day of 1999

Most days, Max is sure he would've lost his mind ages ago if it weren't for Aaron. Maybe on the surface, it might seem like Aaron is the one on the verge of constantly losing his shit, because (poor Jans) shit keeps happening *to* him. But at night, Max lies in bed, Aaron's head tucked under his chin, and this is the only time Max feels like he isn't two breaths from slipping under for good.  
And even though Aaron's practically had his life taken away from him, sometimes Max wants to send Noel Carter flowers or something, for choosing exactly the wrong moment to suck Janny's dick. It's for that reason Aaron is here every night, curled in next to Max, his soft breathing right there making it so much easier for Max to lie awake through hours of insomnia and his own asshole brain that just won't stop. Half his sleepless hours had consisted, before now, of driving himself crazy for months trying to think of a way to get Aaron away from his toxic parents and suddenly - voila! Thank you and your insatiable dick, Noel. (Max will always be the first to own up to his own flaws, and selfishness is among them.)  
Despite all this, Aaron doesn't seem to be all that unhappy. Most of the time, in the ten days they've been on their own, he's been smiling - and Max adores Jans' smile. It's wide and unselfconcious and infectious and so fucking cute.  
Aaron smiles when Blue blows raspberries at him. He smiles when Tank wakes him up in the morning with wet doggy kisses (because Tank learned quickly Aaron is easier to wake than Max, once Max finally falls asleep). He smiles when they get their furniture set up just they way they want, and he smiles when they first order a pizza from their new phone number. (They've maybe eaten a fuck ton of pizza since they moved in. Max may never want to see another slice of pepperoni again.)  
Aaron smiles when they fall into bed at night, and there's no one in the world to tell them they can't, that Max can't twine his fingers in Aaron's hair while Aaron kisses a line down Max's chest, all the way down till he takes him in his mouth, no one to say Max can't tease Aaron bringing him just to the edge twice or three times, his fingers along the perineum but not quite - they're not all the way *there* yet. But there's no one to say they haven't got time, and Max thinks Aaron is smiling about that, too, when he seems to be smiling at nothing at all.  
But Aaron's not smiling right now, as Topher hands him a folded up bit of notebook paper, looking...sympathetic? Max's fingers itch to snatch it away, because nothing should make Aaron not smile, so he shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets, goes to sit on a stool at the kitchen bar. It's New Years Eve, and Topher's got greasy bags of burgers and fries from the drive in, and Geo, shouldering though the door behind him, has beer. So does Katie, behind Geo; and Sara, bringing up the rear, has a backpack that clinks suspiciously.  
Enrique and Shay are already sprawled on the other futon, Shay flipping through channels on the TV Max didn't really want but figured Aaron would go crazy without. Blue is on 'Rique's lap, playing with his own toes. Janet at the daycare is always saying what an easy baby Blue is, entertains himself mostly, rarely upset about anything, and while he goes through hour long sessions of babbling wordlessly and loudly to himself and anyone in his vicinity, doesn't seem to mind if no one listens while he does. So Max supposes he lucked out there. Still, he can't help but glance nervously between the beer and the baby.  
"So you guys really spent Christmas here by yourselves? No tree, no presents, no nothing?"  
Sara is right in his face and Max winces a little. Sometimes he wonders why the hell he gave in and became friends with Sara freaking Denny.  
He shrugs. "It was fine. We had pizza and watched movies. It was just a day."  
(They'd been packing up Max's clothes and books, the Monday after Aaron got kicked out, and Bo stood in his doorway. "Are you really leaving *now*? Just because of *him*?" And Max just grunted, because how do you explain to your 14 year old brother who you've never gotten along with or even ever liked, that *yes*, Aaron has always come first and will aways come first. Never mind with their mom said. She was talking about Aaron but Max knew every fucking judgemental and phobic word that came out of her mouth applied to him, too and he just -  
"So that's it?" Bo looked weirdly upset and Max could only stare at him - what did Bo want from him? A kiss goodbye?  
"Thanks for ruining Christmas loser," Bo finally said and Max could not have cared less. Fuck Christmas.)  
"It still sucks dude." Sara drops the clinking backpack on the kitchen bar and scritches her nails thorugh his hair, against his scalp. Max leans back into it - it feels nice. "Did you have to leave like, right then though?"  
Max licks his lips, his mouth suddenly dry, digs a Miller High Life out of an 18 pack.  
His dad had asked him to stay through the holidays at first, but maybe he'd seen the way Max had been about to crawl out of his skin the minute his mom started saying that shit about Aaron, and therefore by default, as much as she would deny it, about himself. It was his *ma*, who always pretty much treated him as if he could do no wrong, who said she'd always love him no matter what, who was always saying how handsome and perfect and smart he was and - he knows, deep down, it was ignorance, but - he'd seen the disgust on her face and he just - he'd felt wild eyed and about to fly apart into a million pieces and just - just fucking murderous, and he couldn't have. Not even for a minute. He couldn't have stayed, would never have.  
"Yeah," he says hoarsely, takes a sip. "I did."  
She's scratching his back now with her creepy claws, as Aaron calls them, and Max may moan just a little bit, rests his head on folded arms on the bar. "Shit - left. Yeah...now down -"  
"Dude." He feels Topher bat Sara's hands away. "Your man is burning holes through Max with his eyeballs. Keep your claws to yourself, kitty."  
Max snorts, turns his head sideways, though he doesn't lift it up, shoots Geo an apologetic grimace. He doesn't get it really, why some people get so weird about casual touching like that. It's not like he and Sara are still fucking (and maybe he sort of gets that, Geo's hangup about him fucking Sara, because if he's going to get sentamental about any sex besides Aaron sex, it'd be sex with Sara; he knows the long lean stretch of her body better than anyone else's, like she does his, and he misses the things she would *do* sometimes -)  
"Aw Geoffy-weffy, I wuv *you*, you jealous asshole -" Sara is protesting (too loudly) across the room -  
(- until she opens her mouth, that is.)  
Aaron is coming out of the bathroom, still not smiling, and Max sits up, holds out a fresh beer he snatched from the case before Topher hefted it over to the fridge to join the rest. Aaron hesitates, looks towards the baby, but Blue is busy making silly faces at Katie so he makes his way over, plasters himself over Max's back. He's warm and solid there with his arms wrapped around Max's middle, and Max feels something settle in his chest, and when Aaron manages a deep breath that doesn't shudder, Max feels him settle as well.  
Topher is looking at Aaron with a raised eyebrow. "You ok?"  
And Max feels Aaron nod against his shoulder. When Topher turns his back - sorting out the food - Max tips his head back, lips brushing against Aaron's ear, whispers "yeah?" barely a breath.  
Aaron presses a kiss to the pulse point at his jaw. "Tell you later," he murmurs.  
Max flinches as something hits his face, ready to jump up off the stool punching, but Aaron's arms tighten around him.  
"Dude, not cool." His boy throws the wadded up burger wrapper back at Shay's head.  
(Blue laughes and waves his hands.)  
"Stop being gross then!" Shay crosses his arms across his chest defensively.  
Max looks pointedly at Sara and Geo, making out on the futon in a display that's definitely not PG - Max can see nipple.  
"You're seriously not like, upset because they're being all gay over there are you?" Katie's looming over Shay - she's not a small girl - hands on her hips, and Max feels an odd rush of fondness for her, even though he knows that's not what Shay meant. (And how the hell does Max have so many people now, when for the longest time it was just him and Aaron and Shay, and then sometimes 'Rique and Geo?)  
"It's - they're. They're like my *brothers*. And they're. It's fine," Shay is stuttering, "I'm ok with it. It's awesome even. But like. They *love* each other. They're all soft sometimes. It's gross and weird. They," he points to Geo and Sara, "are not soft and. And. Mushy."  
Topher is snickering into his beer and Katie's backed off, eyeing Max and Aaron consideringly. Max bites his bottom lip, trying not to grin fondly at Shay, then twists around, brushes Aaron's sleek, dark hair from his eyes and kisses him softly - *almost* chastely. He feels Aaron's hands slide to his hips, gripping tightly so he doesn't slip off the stool.  
"You're right," Katie says. "They're so adorable it's disgusting. Ace, stop it."  
Max pulls back, smiling slyly up at Aaron, and Aaron rolls his eyes.  
*  
On New Years Day, Geo is, as usual, too hung over to move, and the girls are making a racket in the kitchen. Max squints at them on his way out of the bathroom, running a hand through his hair, wondering how long it will take them to clear out. The disadvantage to being the one with his own place, he realizes, is that he can't just go home when he's overwhelmed by being among other people. And while Shay isn't really other people, not anymore, and Aaron never was, the other five definitely *are*, despite being *his* people (christ, why so many friends?). He ducks into the bedroom - Blue's room, they'd made the only bedroom, but he and Aaron slept there last night in a blanket nest on the floor, leaving the two futons in the living room to everyone else.  
Aaron's got Blue on his changing mat on the floor, his glasses sliding down his nose. Max pushes them back up when he leans down for a kiss, then pulls on jeans and a hoodie, stamps into his Docs, grabs his cigarettes and a book and whistles for Tank. Shay shoots him a sympathetic look from the kitchen, where he's sucking down a McDonald's orange juice. Katie must've gotten up early and done a food run.  
He didn't see what time it was when he left the apartment, but it's past one in the afternoon when he gets back, and everyone's cleared out.  
Tank runs for her water dish and Max scoops some dry food into her bowl, pours himself a glass of water, and curls up next to Max on a futon. There are two for appearances, and guests, and they don't really have a favorite, just sleep on whatever one they end up on at night. Aaron's got his "murder everything" look on his face, but he buries a hand in Max's hair and nudges him close so Max figures the look is for "Catcher in the Rye," tossed aside.  
"It's a stupid book."  
"It is a stupid book," Max agrees, but rescues it from Blue's grabby little fingers anyway. "Do you want me to read it to you?" Because sometimes Max does, when Aaron can't make himself read anymore, ever since the literary disaster that is "Shane" was assigned to their class back in seventh grade.  
Aaron shakes his head, nuzzles his face down into Max's neck, mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "I love you." And that's - yeah. They do. But they don't usually. Like, say it.  
"Jans? You ok?"  
His eyes are red behind his glasses, but Max figures that has more to do with the bong still sitting out on the coffee table, and therefore very recently used (they've gotten in the habit of putting everything valuable or potentially harmful or messy away immediately after use - Blue can't get to most of it, he's not that mobile *yet*, but the way he's constantly raring to *move* points ominously to "soon").  
Max picks up Blue and settles him in his bouncer chair thingy and grabs a couple beers from the fridge. There's a breakfast sandwich in there someone probably saved for him, and his stomach rumbles a little, but - later.  
"Dude, Benjy, really?" Aaron does not look impressed with the beer Max hands him.  
"C'mon. We had like, two each last night."  
(It's a side-effect of Blue. You can't Dad while you're wasted. Stoned, sure. Wasted - fuck no. Dad-ing requires a level of coherency drunkenness negates. And that's ok. Max was never much of a drinker anyway, and it's nice feeling smug the next day when Geo's in pain.)  
"Yeah, ok." Aaron cracks it open and drinks half in one go.  
"That's what I thought." Max pauses. "You want to talk about it?"  
Aaron wrinkles his nose, reaches for his book and pulls out the piece of notebook paper from the night before. It's been obviously crumpled into a ball and smoothed out again, then folded crookedly. Max takes it, smoothes it across his thigh, looks up at Aaron again, making double sure it's ok. Aaron's brows are crinkled, but he nods. It's from Noel, as far as Max can tell. Max can't think of anyone else who would have cause to apologize to Aaron so profusely and with so many synonyms for "sorry." Who apparently has had a bit of a thing for Aaron, if Max is reading between the lines correctly, for a while, and - Max's eyebrows raise - who has been actually out to his family since last spring and they're *ok* with it (well Topher, of course, but everyone else is too) - and who is basicially offering... Huh.  
"Noel and Janny, sitting in a tree?" Max pokes, like he does. Testing the lay of the land with aggravation, because he's a difficult asshole. "K-I-S-S-"  
"Oh my *god* Max you fucking -" Aaron swats at him, pulls the letter from Max's hands, tearing it a little in the process, then crumples it back up and lobs it at Max's nose. He gulps down the rest of his beer, and reaches for Max's.  
"It's just. What he - what Noel said he would do. And. The other day - what we talked about. You never wanted to be out. Fuck Benjy. After last April, *I* don't fucking want you to be out. I can't- if you get hurt like that again. Benj."  
Max squeezes his eyes shut tight, and his heart is jittering in his chest. Honestly, what Aaron is holding out to him is tempting. Max hadn't really given a shit about the taunts last spring. He doesn't fucking care what a bunch of teenage yahoos think of him. It had just been...the way it had constatntly felt like shit was just about to hit the fan. When it acutally did, it was a relief, because after that almost no one thought Max was a fag anymore, besides a few die-hard bullies, which Max chalked up to repressed wishful thinking. Now he's about to go back to school Monday and be once again looking over his shoulder every other minute, waiting for the next blow. And like he told Janny, it was what? Five months? He can do it, but. Five. Fucking. Months.  
If Aaron tells everyone *Noel's* his boyfriend, like Noel suggested in his letter, well. Max would probably be safe from all that. Probably. But.  
But. It's pretty fucking obvious from Noel's letter he'd really prefer to be more than fake boyfriends, even if he never expiclitely stated it, and Max can see exactly where that'll go. Noel will come home for spring break, or for a long weekend, and it'll be fine. It's good if Aaron goes out with other people, gets off with other people. (Occasionally - *occasionally* Max may feel a little guilty that he always does but Aaron just - he just never seems to want to?) But - it's *Noel.* And Noel is really fucking nice while Max himself is sort of an asshole and what if Aaron ends up liking Noel *more* than Max? And it - it's not even so much that. Because he can remember over a year ago when Aaron was going out with Blair and how crazy that thought made him. This isn't like that. He's not very much older but it feels like he's gone through a lot in that year and change, he feels so much older than a year and a half of aging should have made him. He knows, in an academic sort of way, Aaron probably *will* like - ok, love - someone more than he loves Max.  
But not yet. Just, please, not yet.  
But Noel can give Aaron so much more than Max can and -  
Max remembers Noel's sort of awed attitude towards Topher and Katie's relationship. Like, he accepted it but he didn't really *get* it. What if Noel wouldn't want Aaron to see him at all?  
"Benj? Max?"  
Aaron's fingers are loosely circling his wrists, and Max looks at him. Swallows.  
"Where you at man? You disappeared in your head again."  
Max glances at Blue - still bouncing away, babbling contentedly to Tank - and crawls into Aaron's lap, face to face. He frames Aaron's face in his hands - so pretty, his Jans, sharp jawbone, big blue eyes, straight smooth brows -  
"Do you want Noel to be your boyfriend?" The question sounds a little strangled to his ears. He clears his throat.  
Aaron blinks at him. "What?"  
Max shrugs. "This is - this is about you. What do you want to do? If you want Noel to be your boyfriend, that's fine." But. Max thinks Aaron had shown him the letter because he was somehow sort of - asking permission. Feeling out whether that was ok. There are other options though. He steels himself. There are.  
"Or. We could just keep our mouths shut and our heads down and not admit to a goddamn thing. Our boys would have our backs. Blair would. Katie and Sara. There will be rumors, especially -" He waves his hand around the apartment, explicit evidence they're not welcome in their own homes any longer. "This doesn't have to be a gay thing, no matter what fucking rumors Cass spreads." He takes a deep breath.  
"Or." He swallows. "Or, if you want me to be your boyfriend. That. We could do that."  
Aaron is searching his face but - he knows Max doesn't lie - not to Aaron anyway. Then, in a flash, Aaron is kissing him, urgently, like the world's about to fucking ened and this is the last thing they'll ever do. "Jesus. Fuck Benjy," he's gasping between, and Max cluteches fistfulls of Aarons t-shirt, dizzy with the way Aaron's hands are everywhere all at once, in his hair, upand down his ribcage, cupping his ass, but when they surface, gasping, however long later, Aaron's got both of Max's hands in his. He bows his head to kiss them, long lashes hiding his eyes from Max's view.  
"Benjy. I want that. So fucking much."  
Max bites his lip.  
"But - yeah. No. I am not throwing you to the wolves like that."  
"So..."  
"Option two?" Aaron doesn't sound terribly sure, but, "I don't want to use Noel like that. I feel way better now I know I didn't out him to his parents or anything. It's just..."  
He looks down at their joined hands. Max is weaving his fingers in and out of Janny's, fidgiting with them like he does.  
"I don't want to sound conceited but -" Aaron starts.  
And Max laughes. "It's pretty obvious Noel Carter has a giant, awkward crush on you?"  
"Oh my *god*," Aaron groans, flopping his head back to rest on the futon. "*So* awkward. How weird is my *life*?" He's staring at the ceiling like it might have the answer, so Max takes advantage of his upturned lips and kisses him again, slowly, sweetly. He doesn't kiss anyone but Jans like this, and he hopes somehow Jans knows that, what Max can't always find the words to say. *Shay* seems to know it, so Jans had fucking better.  
"It's just -" Aaron murmers, and Max stops kissing him, just rests his forehead against Aaron's. "Noel is like - he's fun?"  
Max chuckles. "He's got a mouth like a hoover."  
"Benjy!" But Aaron snorts. "Ok. Yeah. Fair. But. I don't want anyone to have a crush on me but you."  
Max closes his eyes, slightly exasperated, but he can't quell his smile. Because how can hoards *not* be crushing on Aaron fucking Janczewski? Jesus Janny.  
"Max?"  
Max kisses him again. "I love you too Jans."


End file.
